Thursday, 19 March 2015

Walking back to happiness

Thursdays are going to be set aside for rambling, life updates, reviews of non-beauty things. Today it's about how I'm battling my mental health issues. You can get my life story here and what exactly I'm dealing with in life.

I'm currently have counselling with a therapist Anxiety UK put me in touch with and she's great. Treats me like a grown up and lets me babble on about what I've done recently and helps me to be proud of my achievements, no matter how small.

A bulk of the work I have to do to get better centres around me, myself and I. I can have as much counselling as my parents will fund for me, read all the books, think all the right things but if I don't put anything into practice it will have been a waste.

I used to find even going out with other people stressful, I'd cry and cry until the situation either went away or I could avoid it no longer. Now I'm getting so much better at going out with either Karl or my parents. If I feel a bit sick I might sit in the car for five minutes, then I'll go join them when I feel better. I haven't cried because I haven't wanted to go somewhere with other person for a long time.

Going out alone is still a problem though, and not something I do enough. My therapist is based in Oxford so that gets me out alone once a fortnight but between times I just sit in the flat all day and wait for Karl to come home so we can go out. It's not healthy for a whole variety of reasons.

So I joined the National Trust, the town centre is still a bit much for me, but National Trust properties are quiet at off peak times. My only issue is I'm very scared of dogs, so I'm waiting until the dog-free gardens are open before taking the plunge. There's always an excuse. Expect to see my 'reviews' of the properties I visit popping up now and again.

By taking myself out for walks, I hope to gain more and more confidence and one day I'll be able to go into London, on the train and go to Oxford Street in the two days before Christmas, all alone. And I'll probably cry with happiness.

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